He ain’t heavy, He’s my brother


My oldest daughter Amanda and my son Cory (2013)

My oldest daughter Amanda is the most loving, compassionate, kindest, sweetest, giving, tenderhearted and empathetic of all my children.  Her heart swallows her it’s so big. She is a peacemaker. When people say she has a heart of gold, it’s a fact, she does!

She is the easiest to talk to.  She may not always agree with me (heck, I don’t always agree with me in the end of an argument) but she is always understanding and listens. She is very respectful. I am blessed that she is my daughter and my best friend. If God ever allows your path to cross hers you will be blessed too.

Romans 12:10 (KJV)

10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

When I was at my wits end with my son back in 2013, Amanda said “Mom send him down here to Florida, I’ll help him so he can get a fresh start”.  And she did. I am so proud of her for helping and loving her brother at a time he wasn’t the easiest to love.  Cory had gotten into trouble and he also had a problem with drugs.

So many siblings today couldn’t be bothered any more with helping a family member in need, but Amanda isn’t like most siblings.  She is one in a million, she loves all her siblings and if any of them called her, she would be there in a heartbeat!


Cory and Amanda (July 2014)

After Cory moved down to Florida he would tell me, Mom it’s like having you here.  She is just like you.  I beamed, she loved him like I did, he didn’t know how lucky he was!  She was on him like I was, she’d ask him questions like I did and tried desperately to be supportive and keep him on the right track like I did. It showed me the incredible love she had for her brother. He knew how much she loved him, he loved her as much.

He looked up to her and was so PROUD of her. There is so much to be proud of, she was an AMAZING sister to him. She is an amazing daughter! She is an amazing wife and mother, she works hard at her full time job.  She shuttles the kids from baseball to gymnastics.  She works out almost everyday.  She runs marathons, makes the most beautiful cakes, gorgeous bracelets, and now decorative T-shirts in her “spare time”. She is so creative, smart and fun loving! There is seriously nothing she can’t do. She puts most people to shame!

He’d beam when he’d introduce her to his friends. They would all tell him how beautiful she was (inside and out), which Cory immediately agreed with being the proud (little, well standing over 6 ft tall he wasn’t so little) brother.  One guy Cory worked with down in Florida told Cory “he was going to marry that girl one day”.  Cory laughed, and told the guy 1) she is married but 2) he wasn’t good enough for his sister anyway! He was very protective of her. I’m not sure if he thought anyone was good enough for Amanda.

The one thing that would always get to Cory was when his sister would break down in tears.  It literally crushed him, he hated to see her cry.  Amanda is sensitive and tenderhearted. He would tell me he felt useless that he couldn’t fix her sadness.  She was always helping him and yet, in these times he couldn’t do anything to help her. I do know he hated to disappoint her, I don’t think she knows how much that bothered him.

I do believe God sent Cory to Amanda so they could spend quality time together and make memories for a season.  Cory was very blessed to have the best big sister a guy could ask for, she was there for him when he really needed her.

I thank God for my precious children, all four of them. They make me proud, they teach me lessons, they are my blessings, they truly are a gift from God himself.


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Lord please guide my path

Narrow path - Broad path

Matthew 7:13-14 (KJV)

 13Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it.

14“For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.

Wide Path to our destruction

I know I was on the broad path not that long ago. I had been on the narrow path, but somewhere along life’s way I had taken a wrong turn, then another, then another and before I knew it I was lost. I looked around and saw I was on the broad road. Sadly, it’s easy to do if you aren’t disciplined.

Satan jumps for joy when he causes us to lose our way. I’m sure he probably keeps a journal recording all the people he has led to destruction.

I did fall away from church, reading my Bible became less important (snippets here and there), praying (was hit or miss) and many of my actions weren’t a reflection of the Lord who had saved me.  I prayed, but I’d forget sometimes, especially when I was too tired. More and more distractions and stumbling blocks would be placed in front of me.  At that time I was too blind to see what was really happening to me.

Then I lost my son. One reason that God sends suffering is to discipline His people when they are going astray.

Job 5:17-18 (KJV)

17 “Behold, how happy is the man whom God reproves, So do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.

18 “For He inflicts pain, and gives relief; He wounds, and His hands also heal.

To stay on the narrow path requires discipline. I had lost my discipline.

God brought me to my knees by allowing my son to be taken. He needed to get my attention and he got it.  When my son died, my world changed as I knew it.  My children and grandchildren are my world, God knew that. Cory, because of his struggles, consumed my attention. The fact is God should always be FIRST and without thinking, I’d demoted him to second.  What a disobedient child I was and God is a jealous God.

Deuteronomy 4:24 (KJV)

For the LORD thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God.

He wants your undivided attention.  He loves you and wants to be number one in your life. No person or thing should come before him.  If they do, then there is a problem.

I am glad that in my grief I didn’t blame God or become angry that he took my son. I, instead turned to him to help me through my grief. I honestly believe Job 5:18 He inflicts pain, and gives relief.  (This could also be looked at as discipline from God) Taking my son, he inflicted great pain.

Hebrews 12:11 (KJV)

11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

From that chastening, by repenting, rededicating my life to Jesus and refocusing him to his place as number one; He has brought me much needed relief.  He has shielded me from the intense pain I had felt.  He has refocused my attention to moving forward to do his work.

I am thankful today I am back on the narrow path.  Praise God!  It is a daily process. Take up my cross and follow him DAILY!  In all things I must put him FIRST.  I have to leave my children and grandchildren in his hands. I need to leave my problems, struggles and distractions at the alter. I must focus on my relationship with Christ.  Dig deep into the word, intensify my prayer life and seek him always. Also, share salvation, and the love Jesus has for the lost. I have learned too, that I must also stress the difference between the narrow and broad paths.  I would hate to have someone find Jesus and start out on the narrow path only to find themselves on the board path by taking wrong turns like I did.

John 14:15

If ye love me, keep my commandments.

Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

i can do all things through Christ

I praise God for the work he is doing in me.

May you seek him and he will direct your path.




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What is your weakness?

Sharp Cheddar

One of my biggest weaknesses is cheese!  You throw Cheddar, Mozzarella, Colby, Muenster, Provolone, American,  Nacho, (just to name a few) on or with anything and it just seems to be a much better meal!  My motto is “everything’s better with cheddar” the King of the cheeses!

If I were a mouse, I’d be in big trouble!

Free Cheese.jpg

This leads into what was laid on my heart.

The Scriptures speak of three kinds of “trouble” for the believer:

  • temptations to our weaknesses or attacks from Satan. 
  • Discipline, judgment, or rebuke from the Lord;
  • tests, trials, persecutions, suffering;

I am going to talk about the first one in Bold. Our weaknesses, Temptation and how Satan uses them against us.

Matthew 10:16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.”

How can you fight an enemy you don’t know?

Demonic Spirits have watched us since birth.  They record  our weaknesses, likes, dislikes, desires and anything that flows from our mouth. They use all of this against us.  Yes, our own words. The purpose of the “Spirit of Deception” is to deceive us, tempt us and draw us into Satan’s evil plans. Anything to trip us up.  If they get a foothold, then the “lying spirit” comes along for the ride to continue the game of deception. Our minds are Satan’s battlefield.  Did you know that demons can directly place thoughts in your mind? Well they can. They can not possess you if you are a child of God (saved) because the Holy Spirit lives in you. They can attack you though. That’s another reason in the Bible it says put on the armor of Yahweh (God).

The “Spirit of Deception” today is swaying people away from Biblical TRUTH to heresy.  We must be strong.  We must be wise.

James 1:5 (KJV) If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

If someone truly loves you, they will speak TRUTH.  If someone wants your soul to be saved and for you to go to heaven they won’t fill your head with false hope or LIES. They will like any good parent, not let it rest until they know you are saved. They will tell you HELL is real and it’s HOT!  Sin will keep you from going to heaven.  Hear me!  Sin will keep you from going to heaven.  ALL sin, any sin, even a speck.

Matthew 16 24


Temptations come to us when we are usually at our weakest. Spiritual warfare is real and we need to prepare ourselves .  Knowledge is power, pray for knowledge, wisdom and understanding.  He will give it freely to those that love him. 

Satan attacks us through our mind, emotions and body. We must be in the word, praying, fasting, praising and worshiping God or we won’t know how to fight the battles that lie ahead.

The following is a list of the main Demonic Spirits and  the types of evil spirits under them.  (Spiritual warfare is deep, I can’t put everything on here today but I urge you to read your Bible, pray and learn more, dig deeper.  It’s important).

  • The Spirit of Murder causes Hate, Rage, Anger, Violence, Death, Revenge, Destruction, Darkness, Suicide, Jealousy, Sadism, Fighting
  • The Spirit of Lust will take you down the road to fornication, adultery, lust, porn, homosexuality, prostitution, transexuality  and transvestism. 
  • The Spirit of Pride will cause Pride, Arrogance ,Haughtiness, Rebellion, Blasphemy, Control, Domination, Possessiveness, Contention, Quarreling, Critical, Judgmental, Selfish, Narcissistic, Unbelief, Skepticism, Greed, Paranoia, Deceit, Mockery  (I think Satan attacks a lot of people in this area. I am guilty of some, praise God for his grace and mercy when we repent!)
  • The Spirit of the Occult dabbles in things like wicca, horoscopes (I’ve been guilty of this – I do NOT do it anymore but it’s an open door), fortunetelling, role playing games – dungens & dragons, crystals, channeling, new age, voodoo, ESP, Ouija Boards and Automatic Writing, this list is long.  (Yikes!  My grandmother had a Ouija Board – we played with it, the devil makes his attacks seem harmless as he draws you in! Be careful who and what you entertain!)
  • The Spirit of False Religions Islam, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormonism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Confucianism, Shintoism, Sikhism, Jainism, Zoroastrianism, Spiritualism, Christian Science, Hare Krishna, Scientology, Kabbalah, Unification Church, Freemasonry, The Children of God, EST, ckanar, The Forum, The Way International, Theosophy, Rosicrucianism, Atheism, Legalism (Obviously, this is not politically correct, however, it is biblically correct. Those Religions don’t know Jesus Christ as their Savior – Christianity isn’t a RELIGION it’s a RELATIONSHIP – Pray for those who don’t know him.)

Here are the most powerful verses in all of Scripture telling us that Jesus Christ is the only way to be able to receive eternal salvation with God the Father:

  • Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12)
  • For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself a ransom for all …” (1 Timothy 2:5)
  • There is one body and one Spirit … one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.” (Ephesians 4:4)
  • Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” (John 14:6)
  • I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and find pasture … I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:9)
  • Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life, he who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.” (John 11:25)
  • Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” (John 8:12)
  • And Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.” (John 6:35)
  • I am the living bread which came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever; and the bread that I shall give is My flesh, which I shall give for the life of the world.” (John 6:51)
  • . For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:15-16)
  • He who believes in the Son has everlasting life; and he who does not believe the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.” (John 3:36)
  • Therefore I said to you that you will die in your sins; for if you do not believe that I am He, you will die in your sins.” (John 8:24)
  • Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.” (John 5:24)
  • “… And this is the testimony: that God has given us eternal life and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life; He who does not have the Son of God does not have life.” (1 John 5:11)
  • And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.” (1 John 4:14)

    The Spirit of Mental Health (Fear) will cause Despair, Insecurity, Paranoia, Suspicion, Distrust, Insecurity, Loneliness, Shyness, Discouragement, Passivity, Lying, Deceit, Antisocial, Compulsive neurotic behavior, Phobias, Madness, Insanity, Schizophrenia,Multiple Personalities, Hearing Voices, Mind Control 

2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

 Isaiah 41:10  Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

  • The Spirit of Unforgiveness causes Unforgivenss, Bitterness, Jealousy, Resentment, Anger, Stubborness, Envy, Hard-heartedness  (unforgiveness can block God from hearing you or healing you, repent daily)mark-1125-26
  • The Spirit of Sickness causes Death, Anorexia, Bulimia, Insomnia, Abnomal amounts of lethargy, sleepiness, Epilepsy, Gluttony
  • The Spirit of Different Vices (addictions)  can cause you to dabble in Cocaine, Alcohol, Heroin, Meth, Flakka, Marijuana, LSD, Anti-prescription drugs

John 10:10 “The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)”

It clearly shows what comes from the evil one and if you are dong them and not repenting you will NOT inherit the Kingdom of Yahweh (God).

Galatians 5:19-23   19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

You will know Yahweh’s (God’s) people by their Spiritual Fruit, what kind of fruit are you sprouting?  We all need to check our hearts.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

If any of these things are causing you to stumble, get on your knees and pray in Jesus name (Shout it!  Claim it!) to cast them out.  He will hear your cries.  Remember to repent first make sure you have nothing blocking your pathway to the Lord.


Avoid Temptation

You must be born again and know Bible truth in order to have discernment in these end days of apostasy. You can only trust your King James Bible and the Holy Spirit, the Great Teacher. You must study the Bible and meditate on it and grow up to a mature Christian in order not to be mislead. You simply cannot trust your pastor’s word or anybody else’s word. You can only trust the infallible Word of God. ~ Preacher Mike Storti

Proverbs 19:20 Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.

I know I gave a lot of scripture this time but your salvation, temptation, sin and spiritual warfare are pretty important subjects. Knowing TRUTH, Yahweh’s (God’s) TRUTH is the most important thing you can do!

I pray Yahweh (God) speaks to you through his words.  Remember they are living words.  If you read your Bible out loud, you speak life.  Things will happen.  Get in that Bible, memorize scripture, get that deep personal relationship that he is longing to have with you. He knows your heart, he loves you.  Don’t put it off any longer.  May Yahweh (God) Bless You! xo

Jesus took me seriously

Please forgive any mistakes I think my eyes are crossed from staring at the computer so much today.  You can inbox me and I will fix them.  Thanks.


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Once saved, always saved?

Gods Remedy

Once saved, always saved? This has been an argument among Christians for a long time. This is also one that has been so heavy on my heart, as I had fallen away from Yahweh (God).

It’s not that I didn’t know Yahweh (God) or stopped believing in his son, Yahshua (Jesus Christ).  I did, I accepted him into my heart. I even let others know I loved him and they should too. I’d share Christ with others, I’d even let them know how much he loved them. However, like a rebellious child, my relationship grew cold and I picked and chose what seemed to matter to me.

After all, I told myself, I didn’t physically fight, sleep around, do drugs or murder anyone. I even did random “acts” of kindness.  I tried to be nice to everyone. In my lukewarm heart, I was satisfied I wasn’t a horrible person and that surely Yahweh (God) noticed I meant well. Little infractions here and there were part of fighting the flesh, right?  We were all imperfect.  The fact is I allowed sin, problems and distractions to come in between my relationship with Christ.  I lost my focus.

The answer to the question is no, once you are saved, you are not always saved. It’s a work in progress, always. Let me explain.

Hebrews 6:4-6 (KJV)

4 For [it is] impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost,

5 And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come,

6 If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put [him] to an open shame.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hebrews 10:38 (KJV)

“Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Isaiah 59:2 (KJV)

But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sin separates us.  We must continually (daily) repent of sins, known and unknown.  We MUST have a pure heart.  No sin will enter heaven.  When you ask Yahshua (Jesus) to come into your heart, the Holy Spirit abides in you.  The Holy Spirit will convict your heart when you sin to repent of those sins, that’s why you feel guilt.  If you hear in your heart the Holy Spirit and reject his message you are separated from Yahweh (God) by that sin.  You can not call yourself a Christian then pick and choose what in the Holy Bible you are willing to follow. You must follow all of Yahweh’s (God’s) word.  You are either all in or you are out.  If you say, I am a Christian and choose to sin and not repent. You lie to yourself.

I had fallen away from Christ, I was living a superficial (shallow) Christian life. I claimed to be a Christian. My walk though did not match my talk.  When I’d get mad, I’d cuss.  I didn’t have a truly forgiving or repentant heart (I held onto things I should have let go of). I’d get offended (real or imagined), I’d gossip, I’d wronged people (snubbing, holding grudges) and didn’t seek forgiveness. My pride needed to be dealt with, and I ignored it too. I fell away from Church and the Bible. I’d left sin unchecked.  I’d speak the words of the Bible.  I’d share Yahshua (Christ) with others but my heart was not right with Yahweh (God). I was aimlessly walking in the wilderness because of my foolishness.

If I’d have died during this time, it pains me to say but I would have gone to hell.  Sin can not enter Heaven. I would have heard these words.

Matthew 7:21-23 (NKJV)

21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

While I have never cast out demons in his name or done wonders.  I let SIN (lawlessness)  separate Yahweh (God) from me. I was filled with “my” selfish ways not his. I’m sure Satan was thrilled.  I, however, am not proud of this time.

Proverbs 14:14 (KJV)

“The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways: and a good man shall be satisfied from himself.”

We must repent daily.  We must seek him daily. We must pray daily.  We must get into his Holy Word daily.  We must keep his commandments and walk like him daily. In order to have, maintain and grow in your relationship with Christ, he must be put first in your life.

Pray the following.

Psalm 51:10-12 (KJV)

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

Psalm 139: 23-24 (KJV)

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

2 Chronicles 7:14 (KJV)

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

God reminds us in Romans 6:23

Romans 6:23 (KJV)

23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

He instructs us what we must do to stand against the wiles of the evil one. Put on the whole Armor of God

Ephesians 6:11-18 (KJV)

11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

I praise Yahweh (God) for his patience with me.  I praise Yahweh (God) for his forgiveness.  I thank him for his love, grace and mercy.  All Praise and Glory be to Him for anything good in my life. I thank him for sending his son, Yahshua (Jesus Christ) to be the ultimate sacrifice for our sins and giving us the gift of salvation and eternal life for all who believe in him.

Please repent of your sins, don’t get like I did.  For we don’t know the day nor the hour we will take our last breath.  I thank Yahweh (God) for sparing me to make things right with him.  Life is a precious gift, use yours for Yahweh’s (God’s) glory.

I pray the day will come and he will say:

Matthew 25:21 (KJV)

21 His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

May God Bless everyone who took the time to read this post.  Amen.

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Fight for the TRUTH


John 14:6 (KJV)

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

God’s Hebrew Name is “Yahweh“, and Jesus Hebrew Name is “Yahshua“, based on my studies of late, those are their TRUE names and I will use those names in my posting.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It’s been laid upon my heart to share TRUTH today.  TRUTH can be painful if you don’t want to hear it.  TRUTH corrects wrongs.  TRUTH causes you to check your heart to see if you are living by your faith in Yeshua (Jesus)  and following Yahweh’s(God’s)  Word or if you are living a worldly (sinful) life. The TRUTH is Yahweh (God) LOVES EVERYONE.  The TRUTH is if you repent, ask Yahshua (Jesus) into your heart as your personal Lord and Savior, you will be saved.  The TRUTH is Yahweh (God) HATES SIN.

Have you noticed lately how evil this world is getting?  Especially this past week with all the shootings?  Everywhere you look evil is taking over. Why you may ask?  I will tell you why, because Yahweh’s (God’s) church is trying to live to appease “the people” by not hurting feelings. Some Preachers know you can get more people to come to church when you leave out parts that may be offensive to hear. The church is watering down the TRUTH.  They are more concerned with offending people than Yahweh (God) himself. Satan now has a mighty foothold in America and he is not going to let go without a fight.

Think about this, by ignoring “sin” or “sinful” behavior are we not condoning sin? Are we not guilty too, for being apathetic?

Calling a sin a sin

My heart grieves that America has pushed Yahweh(God) so far out of our country we accept sin and sinful ways, and we even LEGALIZE it.

Take for instance, fornication, adultery, cussing,  lying, gossip, porn, homosexuality (today those aren’t even a second thought). I’ve been guilty of some of those sins myself (I’m not proud of them but confessing – I am no better than anyone else). How about Abortion (we legalized it)? America kills countless babies every day!  That is straight up murder and we call it a woman’s right to choose.  Gay marriage/transgender bathrooms (we legalized it) – how much more perversion is Yahweh(God) going to take before he brings his wrath down upon us?  We are living like the days of Sodom and Gomorrah.

I’ll make this one point too, it doesn’t matter if you lie or murder a sin is a sin in Yahweh’s (God’s) eyes. All sins are equal.  The point is we need to repent from sin.  It’s a spiritual problem.  We need to get right with our Savior.

Remember this:

1 Peter 5:8 (KJV)

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The shootings…..  The devil has a hold of those people.   They have been devoured.

Ephesians 6:12 (KJV)

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Our fight is of a spiritual nature.  The devil just uses people to do his evil here on the earth. If you took those people away, evil would still exist because this is where Satan was cast down.

We need to:

  • Pray for all people.
  • Pray for our families
  • Pray for our children
  • Pray for our Nation.
  • Pray for the leaders of this country.

We need to make prayer lists and NEVER stop praying!  Yahweh(God) will hear our prayers and send his angels to fight the battles.

Always remember the TRUTH will always set you free, Yahweh (God) sees whats in your heart before you even pray.  He knows what is on your mind, your thoughts, you can not hide your intentions or purpose.  We should always be on our  knees PRAYING:

Psalms 51:10

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We are at a time when there is a line drawn in the sand and there is no in between.

You can not have one foot in the world and one foot in Christianity and expect to see the salvation of Yahweh (God).  You can not serve two masters.


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My Mini Me

Children are a reward

Have you ever heard your mother say “I hope when you have a child, they are just like you!” Kind of like her telling you, let’s see how you handle you. My mother said this to me all the time growing up.

God heard her cries and when my very last child was born, she not only looked like me, but as she grew I had come to find out she was indeed, the mini me my mother requested.

This child was very different from my other children.

Megan 1st BDay

She is sensitive, smart, compassionate, loving, caring, kind, tenderhearted, sentimental, strong, bold, brave, heart of gold, emotional, social butterfly, wears her heart on her sleeve, tends to follow her heart over her head.  If you are lucky enough to befriend her, she will fiercely fight for you. She fights against real or imagined wrongs.  She can be stubborn, bossy, moody, outspoken, and loud.  If you are her adversary watch out, she can crucify you with her tongue, she has no filter.  She speaks before thinking things through and **Warning** she can be very sarcastic. She is unique and she is MY daughter!

She is in fact a blessing, a lesson and a work in progress from God above. I am grateful and blessed God gave her to me.  Just like my other children, I fell completely in love with her the day she was born and I will love her completely until the end of eternity. That will never change.

Being the baby of the family (by 1 whole minute) she not only required extra attention, she demanded it.

Growing up for her wasn’t always easy.  Her issues stemmed from her father, and his rejection of her.  He couldn’t handle her. Her father played favorites and Megan’s twin sister was his favorite. Everyone knew it, everyone saw it. There was nothing that could be done about it.  Anytime Daddy went somewhere, he always took Kaylee.  He created the divide and as time passed the divide just widened. His standard excuse to me was I can’t handle them (Megan and Cory).  The final hurt for Megan I think was when we were getting divorced and he asked Kaylee to live with him, only Kaylee.  Kaylee didn’t go but the fact that he would single her out just furthered the hurt in Megan.

Nothing hurts a parent more than to see her child suffer and you can’t fix it. (At this time, get on your knees and PRAY)

The whole time she was growing up we were extremely close. She was my shadow. I tried to make up for his shortcomings with her.

Granted, we have had our ups and downs. Her emotions were usually all over the place. I could relate to her and understand her feelings better than she even realized.  I knew her insecurities. I felt the pain her father caused in her but I couldn’t change it. All I could try and do was love her through it. We are both head strong but we both love with everything we have inside us.  Sometimes, like me, Megan was her own worst enemy. Insecurities are a heavy bag to carry.  Without Jesus to release this inside us, it can cause us so much misery. It causes you to think things that may or may not be true. I can attest to the fact the devil plays on our insecurities.

God actually taught me so many things about myself through Megan.  Things I was happy about within myself and things I needed to change. That is the neat part about how God works, he can teach us lessons through our own children.  By giving us a child like ourselves, we can see our mirrored image. Maybe not completely alike, but close enough to teach us lessons about ourselves. Our children are a gift from God, our reward.

Megan went into the health field, she is a CNA and an amazing one at that.  She is a hard worker. She sees people at their worst and touches their lives.  She has watched people die, and comforted family. The gifts God has given her of compassion, sensitivity, love, kindness, tenderness and caring flow out of her at her job. She is such a blessing to so many! It touches my heart to see my children grow into such amazing talented loving adults. I give God ALL the glory for that.

I still can’t believe she is 25 and married, where does the time go?  She has a baby of her own and one on the way.  She is an amazing mother, the bond between her and her daughter reminds me of the way things were between her and I one time so long ago. A time that passes by so quickly. (Cherished memories now)  I couldn’t be more proud that she is living her dream and she is happy.

While I couldn’t be more happier for her, today, Megan and I are going through a new phase in this thing called life.  It seems everything that drew us together as she was growing up is now pulling  us apart. Sometimes the same qualities that can connect you at one point in your life, can end up dividing you at another. I’m going to call this time, a time of growth! I have left it in God’s hands now. I’m going to work on me and continually pray about it. I’m going to speak life into our relationship and let Jesus heal the rest.

Proverbs 18:21 (KJV)

21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Does Megan have a Mini Me?

I’m sure you are wondering if I ever wished a child on Megan that was just like her?  Why yes, yes I have!  We must keep the cycle of these precious children coming.  They are a gift, a lesson, a true blessing. They teach us things about ourselves that we don’t know and can’t see unless we have that child.  I do believe her daughter Danni is her Mini me, time will tell and I will be watching.

The biggest lesson they will teach us is Patience!

our children teach us


Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

End Note:  I am thankful  that my mother brought me up in church.  I may have stumbled off the path here and there.  I even wandered around in circles for several years from time to time (fighting the flesh is a full time job and it must be taken seriously) but God brought me back to him. I raised my children in church too, and although we moved around I know the foundation is there.

Never stop praying for your children or grandchildren.

May God Bless you with precious lessons from your children!






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A Middle Child’s Memories

Ephesians 6:1-4 (KJV)

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Nothing can get to me more than dissension within my family.

Flashback to my childhood.  First, I want to say I love my Mother and my family with every ounce of love I have in my body.  Always have and always will, my love will never change.  The fact is that your family can be the source of your greatest joy and your greatest pain.

No matter what I have gone through or will go through in the future, God has a purpose and it is revealed in his timing.  The lessons are priceless, although at times painful.

Growing up, I was placed smack dab in the middle of a near perfect older sister and my mothers favorite, my baby sister. Yep, I was and still am that “dreaded” middle child.  To say it was a bit tough at times, would be an understatement but that was/is “my place”.  I felt and sometimes still do, like I drew the short stick! I’m the square in a family of circles.

Mind you, God has a purpose even though at times I would have liked to have said to him “could I opt out of this please?”  His answer would still have been no, it wasn’t an option. He would say I have a purpose for you and he does!

When you can’t be the perfect child or favorite, well you tend to rebel a bit.  It’s an internal battle of trying to fit in and never quite feeling like you really do.  Honestly, at times I felt like  the “fall guy”.  If something happened it tended to be my fault.  Granted, many times it WAS my fault (perfect, I was NOT) but even when it wasn’t my fault I would easily get the blame. I came to expect it. Which led to apathy, I didn’t care ….so blame me!

One time my older sister and I were standing on the picket fence gate, we weren’t suppose to, but we did it anyway. Janet fell and the picket went into her eye and severed her tear duct.  She had to be rushed to the hospital.  I got my  foot caught between the posts but when I got free, I got in big trouble because “we” stood on the fence gate and Janet got hurt. At the time, I remember thinking I wished it was me that had gotten hurt so I wouldn’t have been the one to get in trouble AGAIN!


That wicked fence gate! (I’m the one in the white)

I accepted Christ in my heart when I was 9, I repented, asked him to come into my heart and was baptized. I thank God for coming into my life then because I needed him. I do know he has made a difference throughout my life, even when I wasn’t the most obedient child.

That’s not to say the trials were gone (being a Christian doesn’t make all problems disappear) but in the worst of times when I truly wanted to throw in the towel – he pulled me back from the edge. Thank God for his never ending grace, mercy and patience.

Psalms 86:15 But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth.

Over the years I became outspoken, I’d fight back of injustices I’d perceive (real or imagined) and I carried a lot of hurt and anger. I wore my feelings on my sleeve like a badge. Not good for your spiritual, emotional and mental health but it was what it was and I was a work in progress.

I had not learned yet to dig deep into the Bible and solely to rely on God to heal these things in me. Like a child, I held on to some things so tightly  and couldn’t bring myself to fully let them go.

Back to growing up.  I have always felt my mother loved me because that is what good Christian moms do, right?  but I have never felt like she truly really liked me.  Over the years I’d hear things she’d tell people that would get back to me or things she’d straight up say to my face, like:

  • “she’s like my older sister” she’d say about me, the one she referred to as the crazy one (yep, that helped me feel good about myself – NOT) My Aunt is eccentric but not crazy.
  • She’d pit my sisters against me by making things up to get them mad at me throughout my life. Too many to mention. Funny thing is, if I wanted to make them mad, I had the uncanny knack of doing that all by myself, she didn’t need to help me get anyone mad. (When I’d confront her about any of her shenanigans I was met with silence! Like oops!  I’ve been caught but ……….silence)
  • After my dad died of cancer (1995) she told me I needed help, I was crazy. I finally had enough of being called “crazy” so I told her I’d go to the good ole’ doc if she would go too. I knew there wasn’t anything crazy about me, (except maybe having emotional and mental damage (or baggage) from feeling like a failure in this family that I belonged to) she agreed  – we went and the psychologist let my mom know that there was NOTHING wrong with me. The fact was my mother played favorites with her children, as many parents do (this was HER problem not mine). Praise God! I felt vindicated, and reassured I was NOT crazy! I was just simply NOT her favorite, and I didn’t play the head games she’d create. It seemed I was more of an annoyance to her than anything.   I don’t care that I was NOT her favorite child (I got that T-shirt a long time ago for that) but the scars of her feelings toward me made me hate being around family.  To this day it’s a cross I still carry and am still working on. Why would you want to be around people who thought badly of you because of all the things your mother said about you?
  • When I was going through a divorce I sent my youngest daughter to live with my mother because my daughter struggled with issues over the divorce (My mom was going to help her).  Come to find out my mother tried to turn my own daughter against me. My daughter gave me a copy of a letter to the psychologist my daughter was forced to go to that my mom had written telling her what a bad influence I was on my children but that they loved me anyway. **WOW** If that wasn’t just one more knife to the heart.

I may not be a perfect parent but when my kids (I had four) were growing up they were my first priority. ALL of THEM!  I didn’t run around,  go out drinking to clubs, partying, I didn’t smoke or do drugs.  I’ve never been in trouble with the law, heck I thought I was doing pretty good, however I did carry baggage from my past.  Now though, she was attacking my parenting skills.  The gap between us deepened once again.

This verse has always left me at a quandary.

Ephesians 6:2-3

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I’ve had times of great growth in my walk with Christ and times I have backslidden being dragged down by baggage I had yet to let go of…..

Do you know what it’s like trying desperately to have a parent love you like your siblings?  I do. I learned to tell myself, it is what it is.Lying to myself, because no matter how you sliced it I felt like crap about it!!

I thought in my crazy little mind that I could listen to my moms likes and dislikes over the years. I could fix this.  I’m sentimental. I’d make mental notes on what would make her happy.  I made her a video of her and my dad’s life one Christmas.  I made her a banana cake with fudge frosting for her birthday one year.  Her mother used to make it for her every birthday and she missed that, all her memories meant so much to me not that it seemed to matter.  I’d try anything, I craved her approval. It still didn’t seem to matter, my attempts were met with not much of a change if any.

Ephesians 6:4

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Feeling exasperated, over the years I stopped really calling.  We talk but not much these days.  I keep my shortcomings to a minimum.  I’ve missed my mom my whole life so nothing has changed for me. Sometimes you just don’t get what you want, but you need to be grateful for what you have.  So what we have is fine, I don’t expect anything more.

I am glad she is close to my kids and my grandchildren. Well, except my son, she was not close to my son (he didn’t live up to her standards either)  My son had problems, not ones my mother could deal with. He knew it but he’s gone now.


My son Cory

I remember a time my Grandmother, her mother sent my cousin down to live near me because he needed a fresh start.  My son reminded me a lot of that cousin.  I helped him find a place to live, helped him look for jobs and tried to stay in touch to help him fight his demons and stay on the right path.  I will never forget my Grandmother was so happy I loved my cousin that much that I would help him.  To me, that is what family is all about or should be all about. I never gave up on my cousin and  I never gave up on my son either.

I feel like the above verse speaks to my heart. There is only so much a child can take, but behold your father in heaven will NEVER exasperate you.  Depend on him and he will heal you and make you whole.  You are good enough, and we are not of this world.  Keep your eyes focused on your Father in heaven and God’s Kingdom.

Let me end this with I will always love my mother, that’s the amazing thing about a relationship with Christ. You don’t hate anyone for their shortcomings, we all have them.

This post is a reminder that some people don’t have the “perfect” relationships with their parents.  Now that my children are grown I see it’s not always an easy road and all I can do is take it one day at a time.

We are at a time when family will be pitted against each other, especially over their faith in Christ. Love them anyway!  Forgive them anyway! Stay focused.  And pray!

Luke 12:51-53 (KJV)

51“Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division; 52for from now on five members in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three. 53“They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

God did see my hurt, my struggles and he sent other people to fill the holes.

A Precious memory…………Back in the 90’s I started working with my dad’s best friends daughter (we grew up together, she was like a sister)  I don’t even know how we got on the subject but she let me know something that touched my heart.  When we’d go to visit them, I saw my graduation picture on their family wall.  Man, I remember thinking how good that made me feel.  Did they really care that much I made the family wall?  I was a screw up but I made their family wall.  She told me her mom saw how things were for me and that’s why I made there family wall, I mattered.  I never told her but it made me cry, cry because I mattered to her mother and that she saw what I thought no one else did regarding how things were with my mother.

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